Sometime in my mid-teens I read that each individual has about 50,000 - 100,000 thoughts a day and that something like 98% of these are the same as the ones we had the day before.
This sent me down a journey of figuring out how I could reduce the clutter. I figured a bunch of these had to be unconscious – things that are prerequisites to survival – like breathing. But a rest had to be more random, like feelings and other musings, there had to be something I could do about those.
The outcome, I started writing notes to my future self. These were mostly rants – things that I hypothesized, things that I thought I didn't want to do anything about just. As putting it on paper, helped me not think about the next day, or the day after that.
Every now and then I go back to these ramblings, there's wisdom in there I didn't know I had, decisions I made without knowing that I was...things that has helped me navigate issues that I didn't face until decades later.
My favorite note thus far, is one that I wrote on paper napkins – still barely hanging on to my teens – in a coffee shop after my 6th or 12th double espresso. Based on how my heart was racing I thought the end was nigh, and I poured my ramblings into a multi-napkin monologue.
But somewhere in there, there was this singular thought:
Do I do the things I dislike about other people?
Do I want to change that thing about myself, or am I going to get over it?
Those questions have helped me be better through the years.
Which brings me to today. I don't know if I'll always have my notes, I have done a terrible job digitizing them.
As I grow older I also realize that time as a resource for me is depleting fast, I don't know if I will have the time to pass on my ramblings to my friends or kin. I don't know if others might need to read them too. Writing ought to be more eternal.
So as on now, I've decided that this and future notes to myself – will be public.